Christmas for me has always been my favorite holiday. Everything about it I have always gravitated to. And this year is no exception. But with this year’s celebration and renewal of the soul, I also have some trepidation.
Yesterday I had my second follow-up MRI and this Friday I will review the results with my oncologist. Christmas kindly fell at the perfect time this year, so to distract me from the pending results. And what results to expect? I expect that my tumor has continued to shrink. I anticipate continued remarkable remission. And this spirit of holiday renewal will fill my being with joy that will further enhance my healing instrument.
But regardless of the results, the MRI’s, and the Dr’s orders, the holiday must go on. I don’t get to stop it and put it on hold for when I am completely healed. I have to accept the holiday as it is. No expectations. But also know there are no limitations on it’s remarkable healing spirit. The beauty of my situation is that my mortality is constantly at the center of my thoughts. It keeps me focused through the cards and wrapping paper, through the obligations and dinners, and through the heart of it all on peace. I circle back to peace as my holiday touchstone. No matter what I am up against in this life, I know that peace and inner-peace can extend an umbrella of protection over us all.
Christmas for me is about replenishing the spiritual well. And we are asked in this universe to do this regardless of how we feel. Whether in pain or heartache, sickness or health, or in complete joy we all are called to our own well to look deep down inside and see what’s there. Does your well overflow with life sustaining fresh water? Or is there a drought? What is it that needs to change? For me, its letting go.
I pray this Christmas like that of my favorite christmas song. I pray for peace, and let it begin with me. I get to wash up in the waters of my spiritual well. I pray we all define our holiday in the way that brings us the most of this spectacular life. Merry Christmas.